My main inspiration was to create a psychological and symbolic portrait of my grandmother, specifically focusing on the initiation and long-term consequences of her addiction. The artwork, which I've titled "The Burden of an Early Habit," is a narrative piece that captures the moment she started smoking as a minor, intertwining her personal life with the universal principles of addiction. This piece is a key component of my portfolio dedicated to her life, connecting a single habit to her eventual passing.
Media, Techniques, and Work Processes
The artwork is a detailed drawing created entirely with graphite pencils and black colored pencils. I chose a restricted black-and-white palette to give the piece a sense of gravity and antiquity, immediately evoking the aesthetic of an old photograph from the 1950s. The entire composition is rendered on paper, with the margins intentionally styled to mimic the border of an aged photo. This process allowed me to focus purely on value, contrast, and subtle texture, ensuring that the emotional and symbolic weight of the piece was conveyed through chiaroscuro rather than color.
Intent for the Audience
I want viewers to experience the tension and hidden guilt of that defining moment. I hope they see the piece not just as a portrait, but as a commentary on the societal and family pressures that can initiate addiction. My intent is for the audience to think about the principles of addiction, its deceptive beginnings and devastating long-term consequences, and to understand my grandmother’s story as a poignant example. By using precise, layered symbolism, I aimed to create a work that demands a closer look to decode the full narrative.
Creative Decisions and Difficulties
One of the biggest creative decisions was how to incorporate the principles of addiction without being overly didactic. I decided to use the cigarette fumes to spell out a subtle message, a Bible verse (Job 8:7), as a conceptual anchor explaining the small, deceptive beginning of a habit. The most powerful choice was using the shadow pattern on the door as Morse code for 'death' (dash/long lines, dot/short lines), foreshadowing the eventual outcome. The main difficulty was rendering her face to capture both her likeness and the lost look of a child making a destructive choice. While an initial sketch didn't work, I chose to prioritize the emotional and symbolic integrity of the portrait over an exact physical replica.
What I'd Do Differently
If I could do it again, I might have explored a more expressive way to handle the silhouette of her father in the doorway. While his presence adds a powerful layer of surveillance and guilt, a slightly more defined, yet still shadowy, rendering could have increased the feeling of imminent judgment and familial pressure, making his role in the narrative more immediate and impactful.
Research and Discovery
The creation of this piece was a deep dive into personal and conceptual research. The investigation involved analyzing the photograph to capture her posture and the time period, and researching the stages of addiction to inform the symbolic details. The main discovery was the effectiveness of using hidden, coded language (Morse code, the Bible verse) to embed a deeper, more academic layer of meaning within the personal narrative. For instance, the placement of the Venezuelan perinola on the table provided the perfect, contrasting symbol of the childhood innocence she was relinquishing for the adult habit.
Most Successful Aspects
The most successful aspects of the work are the palpable tension and the layered symbolism. The combination of the father's spying silhouette and her lost, distant gaze creates an immediate emotional unease. Furthermore, the symbolic details, the Morse code, the 12 o'clock clock (end/start), and the perinola work together to tell a cohesive story that operates on several levels: personal memory, social commentary, and a study of addiction's core mechanics.
My main inspiration was to visually interpret the inner world of a person I don't know, based on a brief description of their personality and interests. The artwork, which I've titled "The Mind of a Stranger," is a symbolic representation of their life, reflecting their friendly nature, their love for DIY and family, and their internal struggles with relationships and potential.
Media, Techniques, and Work Processes: The artwork is a mixed-media collage created by cutting and stacking several segments of paper. I used pencils and colored pencils for all the drawings. I chose this process because it allowed me to treat each element, the brain, the goddess, the scissors, the landscape, as a separate idea before combining them. This layered approach mirrors how a person's identity is built from different experiences and emotions. By cutting and gluing each piece, I was able to create a unique sense of depth and dimension that wouldn't have been possible on a single sheet of paper.
Intent for the Audience: I want viewers to see the piece as a psychological portrait. I hope they experience a sense of emotional depth and understand the complex layers of the subject's personality. My intent is for them to think about how our inner worlds are shaped by our relationships, fears, and passions. By using a narrative approach with distinct symbols, I aimed to create a work that invites close examination and personal interpretation.
Creative Decisions and Difficulties: One of the biggest decisions was how to visually represent abstract concepts like "wasting potential" and "cutting off relationships." I decided to use the blocked beach for the former and the Edward Scissorhands-inspired paper cuts for the latter. The main difficulty was creating a cohesive image from so many separate pieces while ensuring the symbolism remained clear. I worked through this by carefully planning the composition, ensuring that each element had a logical place within the larger narrative.
What I'd Do Differently: If I could do it again, I might have explored a different way to render the water. While the current representation serves its purpose, a more dynamic or textured water element could have enhanced the feeling of the "wasted potential" and made it a more visually engaging aspect of the piece.
Research and Discovery: The creation of this piece was an exercise in interpretive research. The primary investigation involved analyzing the provided information about the person's interests and emotional state. The main discovery was how to translate these abstract details into a coherent visual language. For instance, I researched Greek goddesses to find a figure that would symbolize a love for family, leading me to Hestia. Similarly, I drew on my knowledge of Tim Burton's movies to find a fitting visual metaphor for the scissors.
Most Successful Aspects: The most successful aspects of the work are the symbolism and the mixed-media technique. The use of layers creates a compelling visual texture and reinforces the theme of a multi-faceted personality. The symbols, the scissors, the goddess, and the brain are instantly recognizable and tell a clear story, making the artwork both aesthetically interesting and conceptually rich.